mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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