i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
