I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
