So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
