I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
