Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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