We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i was born a porn star she said
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
