I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
