WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
did i just pee glitter
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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