:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
