the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
