i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
