I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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