do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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