dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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