garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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