I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
