i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
