I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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