Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
