i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
