I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
