Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
