too bad you live with your parents still
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
