It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
