Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
