I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
