would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
then he tried to convert me to islam
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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