my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
