I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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