He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
