I want to make a zoo with you.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
