4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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