Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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