she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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