My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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