I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He felt like a one man threesome
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
