I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She's the barista slut.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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