about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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