you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
