I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
