I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
