I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I wish i was in the wii world.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
