She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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