he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
