It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
