I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
