had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
