Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
