I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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