He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
