I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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